iwillfucknepeta:

pimpeta-slap:

mrv4n1ll4m1lksh4k3:

pimpeta-slap:

Who came up with kissing? Seriously?
Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice”
*violently bashes head together again*
“This should be a thing”

kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person

*Bashes heads once more*
You are a prime candidate for my child.

If I’m comfortable with you, I’ll:

• call you names
• tell you weird and personal details about myself
• say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
• type in caps a lot.

If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:

• talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts 
• share funny photos from my tumblr dash
• actually tell you when i’m upset 
• try to make conversation with you 
• just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
• tell you jokes even if they’re bad 

Denmark

katyissuperwholocked:

superwhoavengehobbitpotterlock:

You are allowed to drink when you’re 16.

You are allowed in clubs when you’re 18.

You receive free education.

You receive economic support while studying.

You enjoy free hospitalization.

You’ll be correctly informed by objective news channels.

unicornmunch:

here’s a list of what i’d like to do with you:

• hug
• go on walks while holding hands
• smile
• kiss
• cuddle
• have cute little dates
• have movie nights
• take adorable pictures
• go new places
• try new things
• fall in love
• brutally fuck you
• look at the stars
• do everything i was ever scared to do alone

nicolasiscaged:

[12 year old kid from the 50s who plays baseball voice] why i oughta

tempoes:

everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold

(Source: tempooooooooes)

coopercomeback:

brbjellyfishing:

What if crazy Steve killed drake, josh and their parents, kidnapped Megan and took her to Seattle, forced her to call herself Carly, and made her pretend she was his little sister

we really need to sleep more on this site

i-dont-understand-that-reference:

i-dont-understand-that-reference:

today in science class we were talking about thunderstorms and we looked out the window and there was a storm in the distance so i quietly whispered “the oncoming storm” and the kid behind me banged his knee on the desk and choked i think i have found my soulmate

this wasn’t supposed to get any notes omg

yorshs:

“i need to find a tutorial for something.”

“i know, i’ll look on youtube!”

exasperated sigh

drdavidbrinner:

hormonequeen:

drdavidbrinner:

reminder that Karkat and Equius are the only two trolls who have never attempted murder

Equius killed people all the time to feed Feferi’s lusus 

I made you a guide